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- --=========< BARNEYSTEIN PATCH FOR WOLFENSTEIN 3D SHAREWARE V1.0 >=========--
-
- Yes! It's finally finished. But before you start renaming files, trying to
- execute all the .EXE files included here and generally messing about,
-
- PLEASE READ THIS!
-
- There, now I got your attention, I'll get on with this file...
-
- DISCLAIMER
- ----------
-
- Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh ... disclaimers suck ...
- Beavis: Yeah, heh heh heh heh, nobody reads these things anyway.
- Butthead: But lawsuits _really_ suck!
- Beavis: Heh heh, yeah, lawyers don't know how to dress!
- Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh huh huh huh huh ... that was cool...
-
- What Beavis and Butthead were trying to say was something like:
-
- - I, the author of this patch, take no responsibility for anything that
- goes wrong with your life when you use it, and you will not be
- compensated for damages if something unforseen happens.
- - The above includes, but is not restricted to:
- - bugs in the program that affect your game or your computer system.
- (there shouldn't be any though, cause we tested this thing before
- releasing it)
- - viruses in the software. (PLEASE, NOTIFY ME IF YOU FIND A VIRUS!
- The original patch that I am putting on FTP sites was virus free,
- but some schmuck may upload a copy to other sites that I don't know
- about, and those other copies may not be clean.) ALWAYS scan stuff
- you get from FTP sites just to be safe.
- - failure of the patch to live up to the users expectations.
- - failure of the user to use the patch in the way it was meant to be
- used.
- - failure of the users eyes after reading the enclosed text files.
- (Use the reader in the Setup program by the way...)
- - psychological damages done to younger children because the user let
- them watch Barney die in a bloody mess.
- - houses that are 'torched' because Beavis said 'Fire' in the patch.
- - So uhhhh... like use it at your own risk... huh huh.
-
- Beavis: Cool! He said this patch has fire! fire! ... heh heh ... fire!
-
- WARRANTY
- --------
-
- What?!?!? You want a warranty on a patch that is for a shareware game?
- A patch that you didn't even pay money for??? Get a grip!
-
- That reminds me ... FOR NO REASON is anyone to charge money for the patch!
- (Yes, even if you're planning to give me some...) If you feel you have extra
- money and you are just dying to send it to me, DON'T!
- Register Wolfenstein 3D, or register DOOM, or something. I repeat, send
- your money to Apogee and ID, not to me...
-
- NOW I'VE GOT THE PATCH, WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?
- ---------------------------------------------
-
- Well, since you are reading this file, I would assume that you unzipped the
- BARNEY10.ZIP file into your Wolfenstein 3D directory. If you haven't, then
- stop reading this and do it now... Don't worry about making backups of the
- original game (although it wouldn't hurt). The SETUP program will simply
- rename your old vswap.wl1 file, so no permanent damage will be done.
-
- FILE LIST:
- ---------
-
- ALFA.MOD - end music
- ANALYSIS.TXT - an analysis of "Barney and Friends"
- DATA000.EXE -\
- DATA001.EXE - \
- DATA002.EXE - \
- DATA003.EXE - \
- DATA004.EXE - \
- DATA005.EXE - \ data files to make the intro/end stuff work
- DATA006.EXE - /
- DATA007.EXE - /
- DATA008.EXE - /
- DATA009.EXE - /
- DATA010.VOC - /
- DATA011.VOC -/
- END1.EXE -\ makes the end stuff work
- END2.EXE -/
- FILE_ID.DIZ - the usual thing
- INTRO1.EXE -\ makes the intro work
- INTRO2.EXE -/
- README.COM - Uhhhh.... huh huh huh... what are you looking at?
- README.TXT - Uhh.... huh huh... guess...
- SETUP.EXE - the setup file - RUN THIS BEFORE YOU PLAY THE FIRST TIME!
- STORY2.TXT - a tie-in to "The Day of the Barney"
- STORY.TXT - "The Day of the Barney" by Brian Bull
- VIEWER.CFG - configuration file for the smooth viewer
- VIEWER.EXE - Smooth File Viewer (c) 1993 by Todd S. Lehman
- VSWAP.NEW - the new Barney/Beavis/Butthead graphics
- WIN.MOD - intro music
-
- THESE FILES WILL BE CREATED THE FIRST TIME SETUP.EXE IS RUN:
-
- SETUP.CFG - configuration file for the setup program
- WOLF.BAT - the batch file you will use to play Wolfenstein 3D
- from now on... :)
-
- O.K. Now you have the Barneystein files in your Wolf3D directory right?
- Good. The next thing you need to do is run SETUP.EXE. (Just type 'setup' at
- the DOS prompt from within your wolf3d directory!)
- A menu kind of thingy will pop up, and you can change the default
- parameters. Here's a quick description of the setup menus:
-
- PATCH - Install patch (You should choose this first!)
- - Uninstall patch
-
- INFO - Program info
- - Cheat keys (lists some important cheat keys for debug mode)
- - Map Add-ons (lists all the map add-ons for shareware 1.0 that
- I know of. If you know of more, drop me a line!)
- - Analysis of "Barney and Friends" (something I picked up off
- alt.barney.die.die.die)
- - "Day of the Barney" (a great bit 'o fiction!)
- - Barneystein (a tie-in to "Day of the Barney")
-
- GAME - Toggle Cheat Setup (decide if you want to activate debug mode)
- - Set Starting Floor (decide what floor you want to start on)
- - Set Starting Difficulty (how hard you want the game to be)
- - Do NOT jump into game (wanna play it like normal?)
-
- OTHER - Toggle Members List (wanna see the end stuff? I think you do!)
- - Toggle Intro Screen (wanna see the intro stuff? Why not...)
- - Sound Device (so what'll it be? PC? Sound Blaster? none?)
-
- QUIT - Uhhh...we're there dude!
-
- I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you press F1 to get help in the Setup program.
- There is some other stuff on the help screen that you should know about.
-
- Now you have the game set up, run WOLF.BAT and kick some purple butt!
-
- TROUBLESHOOTING
- ---------------
-
- Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh... shooting is cool... huh huh huh huh...
- Beavis: Yeah, heh heh heh heh, breakin' the law, breakin' the law...
-
- Beavis:
- & DAH DAH DUNT DUNT DAH-DAH
- Butthead: DANANANANAAH DUNT DUNT DAH-DAH.
-
- So you say there's a problem with the patch? Hmmmmm.... Let's see...
-
- Q - I unzipped the game into my wolf3d directory, and ran the game like
- normal, but nothing new happened.
- A - try running the SETUP.EXE program, smeghead.
-
- Q - O.K. I ran the setup program, and everything went alright. When I ran the
- game, still nothing different happened.
- A - Did you pick INSTALL PATCH in the menu under patch?
- Did you run WOLF.BAT instead of WOLF3D.EXE? (just type 'wolf' instead of
- 'wolf3d')
- Are you sure this isn't all just a bad dream?
-
- Q - I ran the program like you said, but the game locked up.
- <or>
- I ran the program like you said, but got an error message at the DOS
- prompt.
- A - What version of Wolfenstein 3D do you have in your wolf3d directory?
- The patch ONLY works with SHAREWARE version 1.0!
- If you don't have a copy of v1.0, and you don't know where to look for
- one, mail me (Blackadder), cause I know a few FTP sites that still have
- that old version of the game.
- So don't try to run this patch on Shareware v1.2, v1.4, or the Registered
- version.
-
- Q - O.K. Now the game works, but it won't let me use the debug (cheat) keys.
- I keep pressing TAB+G, but I'm still not a god yet...
- A - Alright, assuming you picked Toggle Cheat Setup 'ON', you still have to
- press TAB+CONTROL+ENTER at the same time from within the game. Then you
- should see a message like 'Debug Mode Activated.' Now, you can press
- TAB+G all you like, and you will be turning God Mode on and off...
-
- Q - I wanted to see your cool intro and exit screens, but the sound didn't
- work right. I didn't hear any music.
- A - What kind of sound card do you have? Go into the menu choice Sound Device
- under Other. If you don't have a sound card, but still want to hear the
- music, pick PC Speaker. The music will sound like crap, but everything
- played through the PC Speaker sounds like crap. (Unless you are playing
- .WAVs in windows or something...) Only use PC Speaker option as a last
- resort. The Sound Blaster option assumes you have the default settings
- on your card (ie. you haven't been messing with your ports, and other
- junk). If it doesn't work with your Sound Blaster, mail me, I'll see
- what I can do. (Incidentally, I've seen it work on Sound Blaster and
- Sound Blaster Pro. I'm assuming other cards that are compatable with the
- Sound Blaster would work too.) If you can't get the other options to
- work for you, or you don't want to hear any sound, just choose None in
- the menu. If you have a D/A Converter on LPT1, or a Disney Sound Source
- on LPT1, I can whip up a replacement file for you so that you can hear
- the music through the Sound Blaster option. Just email me and I'll
- encode and mail the file to you.
-
- Q - After I lose all my lives in one game, the game kicks me out and I'm
- back in DOS.
- A - Ahhh... the price you must pay for the luxury of being able to jump into
- the game on any level. I suggest you play the game straight through from
- level 1. In that case just pick 'Do NOT jump into game' from the Game
- menu in the setup (the lines of info on the jump to level and difficulty
- should go dark; if you change your mind and decide you want to jump into
- the game after all, pick the level you want to go to, and the lines will
- light up again). If you want to be an assmunch, and jump to any level,
- without putting up a fair fight, then I strongly suggest you play in God
- mode. That way no one will kill you and you won't have to worry about
- being dropped back to DOS.
-
- Q - When I tried to play the game and patch in Windows, strange things
- happened.
- A - You aren't supposed to play the game in Windows, let alone the patch.
- Wise up!.
-
- Q - I have a question that is not in this wonderful document of yours.
- What do I do?
- A - My first inclination would be to tell you to smeg off. But, after
- thinking it over, I decided to give you a reasonable answer.
- Check out Mr. Stasiak's Wolf3D FAQ on FTP.UWP.EDU under /pub/msdos/games
- /id/home-brew/ w3d-311.faq (Or, if you find a higher number, get it!)
- If that doesn't help, then email me, and I'll do what I can.
- UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU CONTACT APOGEE OR ID!!!!
- Not about the patch anyway. If you have a legitimate question about
- hardware conflicts with the ORIGINAL game itself, then go ahead and call
- 'em. Better yet, while you are on the phone with them, order the
- Registered version of the game. (If you need info on ID or APOGEE, read
- the 'Read This' bit in the game main menu, or turn the exit stuff from
- the patch off, and read their little info screen.
-
- There, I think that about wraps up troubleshooting.
-
- I URGENTLY NEED TO CONTACT BLACKADDER OR THOSE OTHER GUYS!
- ----------------------------------------------------------
-
- Well, I must say, I'm touched. Here's where you can find me and the others:
-
- PC-CRAP IS:
- ~~~~~~~~~~
-
- BLACKADDER
- ----------
- Michael Adcock Better yet, email me at:
- 15026 Chipman Ln.
- Houston, Tx. ST29O@Jetson.uh.edu (That's a letter 'O'!)
- 77060
-
- HOMEBOY FROM THE FUTURE
- -----------------------
- ST29H@Jetson.uh.edu
-
- CRUSADER, THE SPACE PUPPY OF LOVE
- ---------------------------------
- ST1WS@Jetson.uh.edu
-
- SATAN
- -----
- no email address
-
- As most of you out there must have realized after looking at the credits
- for this patch, I did all the work ... of course I had a lot of fun doing it.
- So, if the other guys don't put forth a little effort on our next project,
- I might be a lone programmer in the future...
- So, if any of you want to send non-constructive flames to Homeboy or
- Crusader, be my guest. I'll handle any problems that you would like solved
- if I can... ;)
-
- YOU SAID 'NEXT PROJECT'! WHAT IS IT?? TELL ME PLEASE!!!
- -------------------------------------------------------
-
- Ohh... alright, if I must. Our next project is a patch for the REGISTERED
- version of Wolfenstein 3D. That should keep the folks at APOGEE and ID happy.
- At any rate, I'll import all the graphics from this patch into the new one.
- But, as most of you know, the Registered Version contains SIX end of level
- guys!! I've got some working ideas on what they might turn out to be:
- - Barney (of course!)
- - Beavis (the original - not a clone!)
- - Butthead (the original - not a clone!)
- - Ren
- - Stimpy
- - Blarney (I saw him on 'Talk Soup' one time... Barney's gangster brother)
- - Mr. Horse (from Ren & Stimpy)
- - Rush Limbaugh
- If you have any suggestions, send 'em email or snail mail...
- NOTE: This Shareware patch was written by yours truly during Christmas Break
- from University of Houston. I don't know what my course load is going
- to be like this semester. I also don't know if I'll have help on the
- Registered version patch or not. So, I might not get much done on it
- until summer '94. I'll keep in touch through email if you are
- interested. Maybe it'll be done by summer. Maybe by the end of summer.
- Maybe not until after next fall. It's to early to tell.
-
- I STILL FEEL LIKE I OWE BLACKADDER SOMETHING FOR THIS PATCH
- -----------------------------------------------------------
-
- Really? Well, send me a postcard or something. Or email me and tell me
- how great (or bad) the patch is. Or (yes folks, he's going to say it again!)
- register your copy of the game with APOGEE.
- I like to FTP hop, so if you know of cool sites with .WAVs, .AUs, .VOCs,
- .GIFs, .JPGS, .MIDs, .MODs, .GLs, .DLs, .MPGs, .FLIs, utilities for any of
- the above, games, or other stuff, mail me. Or, if you are looking for a
- certain program, chances are I have it or know where to find it -- ask me.
- Or, if you are a member of a group that makes demos (like those found in
- ftp.uwp.edu in /pub/msdos/demos) mail me. I'd like to join a group if you
- want me. (Not a bunch of LAMERS like the guys in PC-CRAP, but a cool group.)
- :)
-
- ------
-
- Well, I think this file is long enough.
-
- Butthead: Uhhh.... huh huh... he said LONG ... huh huh huh huh...
- Beavis: Yeah, heh heh heh heh...
-
- Have fun with the game!
-
- B£ÆÇKÆδδεR
-